For those of you who have ever been through an experience involving the family courts or for those of you who know what I have been through, for obvious reasons I will be keeping this post short and sweet.
Although I haven’t watched it and cannot watch it, I am aware that Channel 4 have recently aired a documentary looking at what really happens in court cases involving the family court. (Torn Apart: Family Courts Uncovered: Dispatches | Channel 4). Through personal experience I do not believe that generally people have a clue what family court involves or how deeply traumatic it can be (and mainly is) for those who are dragged through the archaic judicial system. It was definitely one of the worst and deeply scaring experiences of my life which has left me with little faith in the UK legal system, little respect for judges, social services, and anyone else involved.
For those of you who have no idea what really goes on or for those who do not realise how bad it really is, I would urge you to watch the episode. I know people who have, and they advised me not to watch it because they know it will bring it all back for me. Although I am a lot better than I was, I am only just really starting to live my life after having spent more than 2 years in the throws of solicitors, court, social services etc.
I hope and pray that I will never have to go through it again yet when I check the post, emails or get a phone call from a number I do not recognise there is still that fear in the back of my mind that my ex has taken me to court yet again, for no other reason other than she can.
I am all for human rights but strongly believe that the UK legal system needs a huge overhaul, and that people should not be allowed to take people to court without strong evidence that court is absolutely necessary. I definitely do not agree that people can repeatedly take someone to court and find it abhorrent that they can get away with it, despite it being gloriously obvious that they are doing it to traumatise their ex-partner. This is part of coercive and controlling behaviour.
I am still having counselling and I am on anti-anxiety medication because of everything I have been through. I have to battle with myself to try and focus on the future without allowing myself to live in fear of my ex taking me to court again.
The strong duck in my head would tell me that my ex is weak and has nothing better to do if she did but of course it would not take much for the bad duck to take it personally and fall apart.
All I can do is focus on the positives and try to not allow the bad duck thoughts to take over and obviously try not to think of the ‘what if’s’…
No one will ever truly know the pain and torture that people go through when they are dragged through the family courts but by watching the documentary it might just give you a glimpse.