Lockdown part 3….Week 14

This week has been a mixture of complete relaxation and getting jobs done. I did manage to do some baking and had a go at rainbow icing which was messy but fun. I might challenge myself to make a rainbow cake for my daughters’ birthday. I enjoyed binge watching some TV including a series called The One on Netflix and the 2020 film The Father with Anthony Hopkins and Olivia Coleman. Normally I like to watch chic flicks and romcoms and avoid tear jerkers, but it was good to watch something different. How it has been written is incredible…within minutes I was completely confused and as I had not read about the film it took me awhile to realise that was the point. It is filmed from the father’s perspective who is suffering with dementia. Anthony Hopkins was amazing; he is so talented to be playing such a challenging role and Olivia Coleman was also remarkable. I was gripped all the way through and sobbed like a baby at the end of the film. Despite it making me cry I would thoroughly recommend it but would advise you have a tissue to hand!

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The deadline for the case study for my counselling course is getting closer by the day (obviously!!) and I have managed to do most of it this week, but my goodness talk about procrastinating! It is amazing what you can end up doing to avoid doing something! Suddenly, I had an urge to put a new floor down in my bathroom, replace the seal around the bath, going hunting for garden furniture for my Mum, sort through all the paperwork I brought with me when I moved here 2 years ago…and these aren’t the kind of things I would normally choose to do! I am someone who likes to get things done and be prepared, I don’t like things hanging over me and know that once I get something done then I can enjoy myself but all that seems to have gone out the window! I’d be the one encouraging others to get it done and reminding them that they’ll feel better once its out the way and that they can reward themselves afterwards…and in fact that is what I have been doing but clearly, I am not listening to my own advice!

I investigated the reasons that people procrastinate and apparently it is due to a fear of failing. That does resonate with me as I do lack confidence in my own abilities and I have a habit of comparing myself to others and assuming everyone else is better than me. However, I also believe that sometimes there are other things you’d rather do or you’re not in the right mood or you’re tired and that at times it can be worse and sit aimlessly at a computer screen for hours not getting anything done than to admit to yourself that right now it’s not going to happen and coming back to it later or another time.

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Tomorrow is a big day for those of us in England as lockdown restrictions are eased a bit more. All shops will be allowed to open, hairdressers and beauty salons will also open, alongside gyms and spas. Restaurants and pubs can open if people are seated outside. Zoos, farms, wildlife parks and theme parks can also open. However, we are still not allowed to visit friends and families indoors.

I feel a mixture of emotions about tomorrow, it feels like such a long time ago when all the above was last open so in a way it will be nice to feel like we are slowly returning to some sort of normality but at the same time I am a little anxious about it. I will continue to avoid crowded places and will no doubt wait a couple of weeks before I attempt to visit anywhere such as a farm in the hope that it won’t be incredibly busy.

I know I have mentioned it before, but I really hope that people will be mindful of how they are feeling and not beat themselves up if they are hesitant about things starting to return to normal. We have spent the past year living in bizarre circumstances that we never imagined would be happening, our lives have been turned upside down and each and everyone of us will have been affected one way or another. It’s ok to not be jumping for joy about restrictions being eased. Take things one step at a time and maybe set yourself a small achievable goal such as visiting a shop when it’s quiet or arranging to meet a friend for a drink somewhere so that you’re not on your own when you take the next step.

I will be continuing will my weekly lockdown posts until 21st June when Boris Johnson hopes to be able to lift the majority of restrictions.

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Finally, this week brought the sad news of Prince Phillips death. I had to remind myself that he was 99 years old and from what has been reported it sounds as though he passed away peacefully in his sleep. However, I still feel sad, particularly for the Queen who has lost her husband of 73 years and who described Prince Philip as her strength and stay. Not forgetting Charles, Anne, Andrew, and Edward who have all sadly lost their father. It doesn’t matter how old someone is or how wonderful their life may have been, they have all still lost someone close to their heart.

I love this photo!